Monday, December 23, 2013

23 December 2013

You are carbon.
You will leave nothing more than a smear of carbon crumbs.

Time has always moved at exactly the same pace
and you have always been fading
- neither of which you have ever understood.

Your knight is not coming.
Your night is not leaving.

No one is thinking of you
from far away.  No one ever has.

You are selfish.
You sit in judgment of everyone and everything
despite thinking yourself generous and kind.

The thing you have been secretly hoping for all your life -
the thought of which plunges your heart into your stomach
with nervous excitement and anticipation of validation -
is not real.

Nothing written was ever meant for you
and had you lived in France in the 19th century
everything would be exactly the same.

You are not exceptional.
Your personal struggles and failures and triumphs
are meaningless.

Your life experience generally resembles
that of those around you, despite your resistance
to this circumstance.

Move forward, look back
wait - imagine the future you will not see
the mark you will not leave
the tragedy and ecstasy that will not unfold
before your unblinking eyes
as you shuffle and sway and shake
along the gray and disappointing edges
which you have never understood.